The Vyvanswer To My Problems

vyvanse rating

I told my best friend that I would give my Vyvanse prescription a rating and do a post on it, so this is for you, _____. (For your anonymity, you are “blank” — just like our minds after no sleep + too many stimulants — cuz I’m SUCH. A. GOOD. FRIEND.)

Anyway, I had a great week after getting diagnosed with ADD and handed a Vyvanse prescription, which I like to think of as “Adderall Lite” or the new Vyvanswer to all of my motivational problems. It’s not as strong as Adderall, so it gets a 4 out of 5 pill rating from me, but if you take enough of the drug you start to feel vyvacious and vyolently productive, like your magic pill is growing a giant beanstalk of motivation that you can eagerly climb for miles. And as you go higher you suddenly remember that it will be very challenging to keep up with yourself on this climb without another magic pill. So you Vyvanse like nobody’s watching and keep going, up and up… until it’s time to slide into the comedown where you are pricked by the beanstalk’s thorns, unless you remembered to be armed with your battle Xanax.

I think of Vyvanse as Adderall’s love interest who is totally ignored in the movie until she takes off her glasses (bottle cap) and kisses you (dissolves in your system). Then she (it) kind of takes your breath away — (literally, if you eat the whole bottle) – and everyone looks at her (Vyvanse) with a newfound respect, like ‘Where was she this whole time?”

High Vyv on this med, Big pharma. I see a lot of potential in her.

Advertisements

Pillhead of the Week: Daisy from ‘Girl Interrupted’

daisy .jpgFirst of all let me just say that it’s still shocking how Brittany Murphy died from pneumonia or, like, a moldy house??? and not an overdose. She was a true original that way – playing a pillhead like Daisy so convincingly and then dying young HERSELF… but not in the way that everyone would assume. She made ASSes of U and ME in death, and that is original af.

Anyway, this pillhead of the week post is dedicated to her (RIP) and Daisy in “Girl Interrupted”– who just wants the fucking Valium, asshole.

Daisy is creative in where she stores things – her pills, her poop, whatever – and hides pills in her teddy bear like the adult child that she is. (That we all are.)

daisy bear.jpg

sPILLing my thoughts

pill-candyA random page from my notebook tells me (and now you) the following:

  • Adderall tastes sweet like the powder of broken candy hearts
  • Klonopin has a slight burn like your nose sipped its tea when it was too hot
  • Percs are a green sand, crushed finely from a razor-cut mountain or stuffed into a straw and gnawed on by teeth sharpened by the knives of addiction
  • Ritalin is bitter. Like it is Adderall’s kid brother that is overshadowed and underrated and is the actual powder of Old Spice deodorant.

Today* (yesterday) I believe we did all of these in the course of a LONG day/night – like a salad of mixed greens… and whites.. and whatever other colors

*Today meaning about a month ago, cuz DAMN if I don’t wish I had all these right now, too